In the biblical Book of Revelations, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse signal the end of the world through conquest, war, famine, and death. The Four Horsemen that Dr. John Gottman’s research has identified as signaling the end of a relationship are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—communication styles that threaten a marriage’s health and longevity. […]
Preventing infidelity: Open the sliding door to love
Dr. John Gottman sent me a complimentary copy of his latest book, What Makes Love Last? I read it with great interest. Couples often come to my office struggling with trust and betrayal. While infidelity is a common reason couples seek counseling, it does not have to portend the end of the marriage. Before an […]
The fullest experience of the adventure of life: Eleanor Roosevelt, writing, and mindfulness
I just returned from Rhinebeck, NY, where I took an intensive professional training course in Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) for the Prevention of Depression Relapse. The five-day course was developed for health-care professionals who already have experience with mindfulness-based approaches. Many years ago, I studied Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction with its developer, Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn. Since […]
The College Transition: Things to Talk About
College is a rite of passage, a transition into adulthood. It’s a transition for parents, too, who can no longer sleep in the room down the hall with ears half-cocked and one eye open. It’s all the more important, then, for parents to have conversations with their kids about how to deal with the common, […]
Updating Your Love Maps—Keeping Friendship in Your Marriage
Love Maps —“You like tomato and I like tomahto” Last night I made a salad for dinner. I picked fresh lemon cucumbers and baby lettuces from the garden, topping it with a grilled chicken breast we had cooked the night before. David added whole red cherry and yellow pear tomatoes still warm from the garden.At […]
