This dramatic cumulonimbus was captured at 37,000 feet over the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. Pilots know to avoid going near these thunderclouds, charting a course around them for the comfort of passengers and the safety of the aircraft. Even coming close will cause turbulence—the jet trembles and shakes, often violently. Pilots rate turbulence as mild, […]
Psychotherapy: A Safe and Sheltered Space
One size does not fit all when it comes to finding a good therapist. Many variables influence the extent to which people get better, solve problems, and grow. While empirical support is important in choosing what treatment to provide, psychotherapists shouldn’t stick rigidly to what studies suggest; instead, they should work from the position of […]
Division of labor in relationships: How to make it work
Conflict is inevitable in marriage, and how to divvy up chores is one of the most common conflicts. Virtually every couple I have seen for counseling over the last twenty years has argued about the division of labor in their marriage. As the mental scorecard of who does what grow longer with each year, the […]
Learning to Notice What is Already There: The Rose Itself
Behavior therapists have long used a technique to distract clients from their difficult thoughts. The client wears a rubber band around their wrist; when they have an upsetting thought, they snap the rubber band so that the sting wakes them up and interrupts the thought. This always seemed silly to me. And when I tried […]
Marriage and Parenting: Balancing everyone’s needs
Work-life Balance — Making Time for Yourself When I was born, my father’s colleagues congratulated him with the cartoon below. The proud new dad is wearing a halo and peering up at a trophy of me, his firstborn, hands on my hips. Behind him is a trash can filled with his favorite toys: skis, golf […]
