The Magic Five and One-half Hours a Week: How to strengthen your relationship by turning toward each other every day. Couples who make time for each other on a regular basis strengthen their relationship. We often underestimate how important the seemingly small things are to the health of a marriage. Small positive things done often […]
The Fourth Horseman: Stonewalling
Walking up the steep steps gave me a view of the entire countryside, but scaling a partner’s emotional wall isn’t that easy. I reflected on why we put up walls and how these walls get maintained over the years. Walls are built for protection—to keep others out—and to keep control. In marriage, partners who have […]
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Shortcutting Criticism
In the biblical Book of Revelations, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse signal the end of the world through conquest, war, famine, and death. The Four Horsemen that Dr. John Gottman’s research has identified as signaling the end of a relationship are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—communication styles that threaten a marriage’s health and longevity. […]
Preventing infidelity: Open the sliding door to love
Dr. John Gottman sent me a complimentary copy of his latest book, What Makes Love Last? I read it with great interest. Couples often come to my office struggling with trust and betrayal. While infidelity is a common reason couples seek counseling, it does not have to portend the end of the marriage. Before an […]
The College Transition: Things to Talk About
College is a rite of passage, a transition into adulthood. It’s a transition for parents, too, who can no longer sleep in the room down the hall with ears half-cocked and one eye open. It’s all the more important, then, for parents to have conversations with their kids about how to deal with the common, […]
