Happily ever after doesn’t do justice to anyone’s experience of marriage. A former professor of mine dedicated a book to his wife of 69 years, writing “For Darlene, in pleasure and pain.” The book itself concerns holding the tension between opposites, both within ourselves and in relationships. Some degree of ambivalence towards one’s partner […]
Relationship Mindset: How implicit beliefs affect romantic relationships
Like the proverbial moth to a flame, we are drawn to the intense experience of romantic passion. In popular culture, this passion indicates that partners are soulmates who are meant to be together forever. Romance novels and movies end at happily ever after, but in real life, many couples struggle to maintain romance and sexual […]
Passion, Sex, and Romance in Long-term Relationships
It is not uncommon to have romantic fantasies about people other than your partner. It’s not just normal; it can even enhance your marriage—that is, unless those fantasies cross the line, which is what I’ll talk about in this post. In a long-term marriage, romance can depart, and sex can follow. From the outside, couples […]
What to Do After a Fight and How to Repair
One of the most important skills you can learn to better manage conflict is how to make a repair AFTER you’ve had a fight, big or little. I’ll tell you right now, just saying you’re sorry is not going to cut it. In fact, even if you do get off the hook by simply apologizing, […]
When Strong Emotions Derail You: How to manage
How do emotions get us into trouble? Some strong emotions are enjoyable, but some can knock us off balance. Becoming overwhelmed with emotions may lead to unhealthy reactions and misunderstandings, with the potential to get us into trouble at work, at home, or in social settings. Common expressions like ”he was blinded by emotion” or […]
