Perfectionism is a personality trait that can have positive results: perfectionists work hard to get things right and aren’t satisfied with anything less. But people can also make themselves miserable with unrealistic, unmeetable expectations, and this misery expands outward when perfectionist standards are applied to relationships.David Brooks, political and cultural commentator for the David […]
Seeing How Childhood Patterns Affect Marriage
When Mark and Judy came to see me for couples therapy, Judy felt frustrated by her husband’s constant angry mood. They rarely talked anymore, and she felt that any time she brought up a stress, the conversation quickly became a quid pro quo—who had the hardest day? Mark felt low-level irritability and frustration about […]
Six Ground Rules for Introducing a New Girlfriend or Boyfriend to Your Kids
When is it okay to introduce your kids to a date after divorce or separation? This is a common question for newly separated or divorced parents. Like so many things involving children after divorce, the answer is “it all depends.” But there are a few ground rules that can help in the transition to dating. […]
How Couples Counseling Can Guide a Divorce That’s Better for the Kids
Staying Together for the Kids: Why This Isn’t a Good Idea In my work as a counselor, I approach every couple with the intention of helping them heal what isn’t working in their marriages. I know that even the most challenging issues are often repairable. But occasionally, it is in everyone’s best interest to separate. […]
Ways to Increase Fondness and Admiration
The Sound Relationship House Part 3: Ways to Increase Fondness and Admiration We use many of these tools for increasing fondness and admiration in couples counseling, but you can use them to good effect without being in therapy. The most important thing to remember is that changing your relationship takes care and attention. Beginning to […]
