The German airplane crash by a suicidal pilot, the Florida shootings, the Boston bombings. Every week, we read about innocent people getting hurt or killed. We try to avoid pain and suffering; we teach children to look both ways before crossing the street, wash their hands after using the bathroom, and not to get into […]
Psychotherapy, Love, and Healing
Nothing is more natural than the urge to be held and comforted by someone who understands our suffering. Whatever the painful situation (a relationship breakup, medical scare, financial disaster, the death of a loved one) we want to turn toward someone who will hold us and let us cry in loving arms. Sometimes we […]
“I’d be better off single”: Distress-maintaining thinking
How many times have you gone to bed thinking that you hate your partner, fantasizing how you would live on your own? Your thoughts snag on difficulties like how to tell your kids, your family, and the neighbors, and how much it would cost to live in two households. If you’ve had such thoughts, you […]
Standing Behind the Waterfall: Learning to Change Distorted Thinking with Mindfulness
Thoughts are not facts. When we’re upset, our thoughts seem valid—yet it’s exactly when our emotions get stirred up that our thinking can easily become distorted. Conclusions based on distorted thinking can’t be trusted. When my friend Sharon returned from a business trip, she was feeling disturbed and uncomfortable. As she described her experience, she […]
Building and Keeping a Strong Relationship After Having Kids
Marital conflict is bad for kids. While every marriage has conflict, especially after the first baby, persistent difficulties in the marital relationship expose children to increased chance of depression, poor communication skills, and conduct disorder later in life. Cindy and Max came to see me after their daughter Sophie started pre-school and teachers called […]
