With smartphones, our partner is just a text away. That’s not always a good thing. Sure, texting is a great way of communicating information quickly and efficiently, such as ”Don’t forget eggs,” or “I’m running late, see you in 10,” or “Call me, we need to talk.” But just like answering machines and voicemail in […]
Marriage Takes Work, Care, and Attention
“Marriage, the Job: The Hard Work in ‘Before Midnight,’ Amour’ and Other Films and Shows,” A.O. Scott points out that in movies and TV, ”work and wedded bliss are now synonymous: the harder marriage is, the more romantic it seems.” Even a rich, famous, handsome actor like Ben Affleck, married to the equally rich, famous, […]
How Anger Hurts Relationships
Getting angry…is easy and everyone can do it; but doing it . . . in the right amount, at the right time, and for the right end, and in the right way is no longer easy, nor can everyone do it. —Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics (II.9, 1109a2 Managing Conflict Rather than Eliminating Conflict Conflict is inevitable […]
140 Characters or Less: The Three-Sentence Rule in Communication
Couples frequently come to therapy complaining of communication problems. Conflicts don’t get resolved. Intimacy has left the relationship. They lead parallel lives. The focus is on the kids, or their work or friends, but not each other. During the first session of couples counseling, I take a history of the relationship and ask them to […]
Do Opposites Attract in Choosing a Mate: How what once attracted us can begin to repel
We Seek Wholeness in Ourselves When we Choose our Mate The adage “opposites attract” is often true before marriage and well into the first few years of a relationship. However, as I have seen in many years of providing marriage counseling, the powerful attraction that once drew you to your mate can fade over time. […]
